Credit Crunch Blues

Christmas time is coming,
It’s just around the bend,
This year it will be different,
So listen well, my friend.
I’m wearing dirty trousers,
I’m wearing leaky shoes,
Ain’t had a wash in three days
Nor a shave in twenty-two.
The good times they are over,
It’s been in all the news.
I’m just another victim,
A victim of the credit crunch blues.

Once I was so well-off,
I wanted not a thing,
Had a great job in the city,
Silk shirts and loadsa bling.
Had a Porsche in the car park,
A four by four for fun,
King’s ransom for a mortgage,
Hey! Didn’t everyone?
Six-figure bonuses,
How could I refuse?
Never seen it coming,
Never seen the credit crunch blues.

The boss, he called me in this day,
Said, Son, please take a seat,
But don’t you get too comfy,
Then he turned up the heat.
Told me we’re downsizing,
Our office has to shrink.
The economy, surprising,
Was teetering on the brink.
Head office says one of us
Must go, I gotta choose.
Guess which one it was that went,
Which one is suffering the credit crunch blues.

Well, the good times they were over,
And so much had to go!
The holiday home in Tuscany
(That really was a blow).
The kids’ private education—
I couldn’t pay the bill.
My personal private healthcare plan
For if I should fall ill.
My whole world has exploded,
And greed, it lit the fuse.
Blown my world to kingdom come,
Blown up by the credit crunch blues.

I came home one evening,
On the table in the hall
A note addressed to me
Was sitting there, I recall.
Said, Honey, I am leaving you.
Was paralysed, like polio.
Her note told me she’d left me
For a bigger portfolio.
They say size, it doesn’t matter
But my wife had other views.
She left me for a bigger man,
She left me with the credit crunch blues.

By now my head was spinning,
I really couldn’t think,
Had a load of worthless shares,
No money, turned to drink.
I couldn’t pay the mortgage,
Was turfed out of my home.
The kids went to their mother,
The dog left with his bone.
From being such a winner
I had to learn how to lose,
No pity from ex-colleagues, friends,
No mercy from the credit crunch blues.

So here I am now livin’
In the shady part of town.
We all travel the same direction
That direction, it is down.
Here, people see no future,
It’s drink and drugs and fights.
There ain’t too much respect around
For anyone’s human rights.
They fire-bomb police cars,
Stone fire-fightin’ crews.
It’s a whole new style of living
But I’m living with the credit crunch blues.

Christmas time was comin’,
I didn’t have no dough.
I got a job as Santa Claus
But the store said I had to go.
Gave this kid a present, said,
Some day they’ll want that back.
The kid burst into tears
And this Santa got the sack.
Was only tryin’ to tell him
Nothing’s free and bills come due.
He’ll learn that for himself some day,
Me? I learned it from the credit crunch blues.

My power has been cut off,
I’m in the dark and cold,
Just sittin’ here and thinkin’
‘Bout the shit that I was told.
They told me life, it was a race,
Where you watch for number one.
And the devil takes the hindmost
Right from that starting gun.
Don’t get left there standin’,
All alone and all confused.
But that’s exactly where I am now,
Brought on by the credit crunch blues.

My thoughts they turn bitterly
To the people I once knew.
How they controlled the many
Although they were so few.
Now the house of cards they built
Has come crashing down so fast.
No house without foundations
Can ever hope to last.
But till the many take the power
(And this is now my view),
We’re doomed to keep repeating,
Repeating those credit crunch blues.